For quite some time, I have been struggling with assurance.
I've been sometimes worried that I doubted my salvation
because I thought if I really was saved, I would know it!
I thought that I was the only one, but over the past few months,
I've realized how other dear Christian friends
I have struggle with the same thing!
I've been praying about it for quite some time,
and thought I'd share what the Lord has revealed to me,
in case any anyone else has struggled as well.
I remember when I was 5 years old,
I understood I was a sinner, that Christ died for me,
and I didn't want to go to hell.
I knelt by my bed and prayed and asked Jesus to
forgive me and come into my heart and save me.
When I was about 9, I felt I may not have
really been saved and that I was basing my assurance
on a 'profession' I had made.
So I told the Lord I was sorry for my sins
and that I wanted Him to forgive me,
come into my heart and save me.
Age 12 I struggled.
Age 14 I stuggled.
I have to say, though, that I've struggled the most this year.
In March I said a prayer to 'make sure'.
In June I said another one to 'make sure'.
But after a while, I'd start doubting again.
Sometimes I just didn't feel saved.
Finally, back in October, I told the Lord about it.
Somehow, I figured He didn't know or care I felt no assurance.
I knelt beside my bed and cried out to Him.
I told Him I was doubting and that I was tired of it!
I was so scared...
did I repent enough? did I say the right thing?
did I have enough faith? did I base it all on a prayer?
But then He stopped me and reminded me...
It's not if what I did was good enough,
It's about what Christ did.
He reminded me that His blood was enough.
Romans 10:13 came to me...
"For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved."
All I need is enough faith to just ask Him
and to know I'm a sinner and am sorry.
He reminded me of the time I did that.
When I really called to Him.
I was saved... am saved!
My assurance comes from trusting Him to keep His promise!
I thought I'd share some verses He used to speak to me...
"All that the Father giveth me shall come to me;
and him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out."
"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son,
that whosoever believeth in him should not perish,
but have everlasting life."
"If a son shall ask bread of any of you that is a father,
will he give him a stone? or if [he ask] a fish,
will he for a fish give him a serpent?
Or if he shall ask an egg, will he offer him a scorpion?
If ye then, being evil,
know how to give good gifts unto your children:
how much more shall your heavenly Father give
the Holy Spirit to them that ask him?"
I knew I was saved... I just needed to trust Him
that He really did hear me and save me and keeps His promises.
It's not God's will for us to be doubting our salvation.
The devil tries to get us to doubt.
Since he cannot have our souls,
he wants to keep us from doing as much for God as he can.
If we spend so much time wondering if we're saved,
we become discouraged and not as useful for Him...
we can forget about all those souls we need to tell, too.
That is our job as a Christian,
and satan tries to keep us too busy with ourselves.
Also, doubting is a sure sign of backsliding.
And when I heard that in a message,
I looked back and realized it was so in my life.
Anytime I wasn't in God's Word,
or did something I knew the Holy Spirit 'pricked' me about,
I would sure enough start doubting.
And after a while, the Holy Spirit will stop 'pricking'.
God will always be there to come back to,
but if we're going to ignore Him, He'll sit back.
Then I really started doubting, since I felt so numb
to the things of the Lord.
But when we're completely right with God,
completely trusting in Him and His Word,
we're not going to doubt!
Praise the Lord that He never gives up.
His mercy and grace never end!
We fall aside so many times,
and when we come back, He's always forgives us!
This wonderful God sent His son to die for our sins.
All we have to do is believe and accept His gift.
If you have done that but are doubting,
I encourage you to tell the Lord about it.
He knows and cares that you are, and He will help you.
"These things have I written unto you that
believe on the name of the Son of God;
that ye may know that ye have eternal life,
and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God."
1 John 5:13