Youthful Romance... Dangers of Dating... Part 1

Over the next few weeks, I'd like to share something I wrote last week.
...derived from a sermon by Johnathon Lindvall with added notes by me.
**Disclaimer: I do not, necessarily, recommend his sermons
nor do I agree with everything he says, however,
the principles are still based on Truths **



Romance is one of the most wonderful things God made.
What do we do with wonderful, valuable things??
The more valuable your treasures,
the higher your fences around them –
you guard them!

God has placed some very high fences
around this wonderful treasure He created.
God intended a relationship between a male and female
not only for the passing on of life, but for pleasure as well.
But God has placed some strong Scripture against its misuse…
Such as “Thou shalt not commit adultery” and many other
scriptures against adultery and fornication.
What pretty much sets in many a Christian young person’s mind –
“OK... adultery... fornication…bad!
I’m not suppose to do those things!
But let’s define our terms. How far can I go? Where is the line?”

So many times we can read a book or listen to a tape
or sermon on ‘How far can I go’; but realize that everyone
has a slightly different answer. And sometimes not so slightly!
Even in Christian circles there is a wide diversity
of viewpoints on ‘How far can I go’.
This does not mean there isn’t a firm answer.
Just because opinions differ
doesn’t mean that God hasn’t spoken on this issue.

Let’s really try to address this issue from God’s Word;
Let’s look at what God’s Word says.
In 1 Thessalonians 4:3-6 He says,
“For this is the will of God, even your sanctification,
that ye should abstain from fornication:
That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel
in sanctification and honour;
Not in the lust of concupiscence,
even as the Gentiles which know not God:
That no man go beyond and defraud his brother in any matter:
because that the Lord is the avenger of all such,
as we also have forewarned you and testified.”

Now there’s a problem with this question “How far can I go” –
Anyone who has any wisdom in the Lord
can tell what’s implied by this question.
It’s really saying “Tell me where the line is, and I’m going
to get as close to that line as I can without crossing over.”
Is that pleasing to God? NO!
God wants us to give Him our hearts; where we would say,
“What would be God’s ideal?
How much can I possibly please God?”
Let’s go for God’s ideal- What is His highest standard?

In this passage (1 Thess. 4:6) there are 2 things
Paul says we are to be careful of.
“That no man go beyond and defraud his brother in any matter:
because that the Lord is the avenger of all such,
as we also have forewarned you and testified.”

One is that we do not go beyond. And then he dropped it.
The other is that we do not defraud.
Let’s talk about them both.

Concerning ‘not going beyond’
implies that even though this question
(‘how far can I go’) has some problems with it,
it is one that must be answered.
How can we ‘not go beyond’ if we don’t know where the line is?
Where’s that line?
And then we’ll come back to defrauding, because frankly,
that’s going to push the line even further – to the glory of God.

In Matthew 7:12 we have ‘The Golden Rule”:
“Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that
men should do to you, do ye even so to them…”

Let's illustrate with a story...

There was a well known Bible teacher who had a son
that was one night going on his 1st date.
Now, his son was really nervous, so he decided to ask
his dad if he could talk for a minute.

“Dad, I need some advice. I’ve never gone on a date before –
what should I do? Should I hold her hand?
Should I kiss her? What do you do on a date?”

“Well son, let me ask you a few questions.
Tell me, are you going to marry this girl?”

“Marry her?!?! Dad, it’s only a date! I mean, well,
it’s possible that some day I might marry her, but probably not!
No, no! I’m not going to marry her!”

“OK, fair enough, I just wanted to know.
Son tell me, if you don’t marry this girl,
is it possible someday you might get married?”

“Well, I think so. I’d like to be married some day.”

“OK. Well now, if you don’t marry this girl,
what are the chances of her marrying someone else?”

“Well, she’s a nice girl. She’ll probably get married some day.”

“OK. So tonight you’re taking out some girl
who’ll probably not be your wife.
And in fact, some day she’ll probably be someone else’s wife.
So- you’re taking out somebody else’s wife tonight!”

“Oh, I hadn’t thought of it that way, dad.”

“Well, OK, I’m just thinking here.
You know son, if you don’t marry this girl,
that means you’ll marry some other girl.
What do you think the chances are that that girl,
whoever an wherever she is, could be going on a date?”

“I hadn’t thought of that. I suppose, maybe.”

“All right. Tell me son, what would you like the guy who is
taking out your future wife to do with her on a date?”

“Oh! I see! The golden rule!
Do unto others as you’d have them do to you.”

It’s very clear, isn’t it?
And yet that principle is so seldom applied to
romantic relationships in young people.
We don’t think in term of ‘property’ and ‘ownership’.

In 1 Corinthians 7:1, Paul takes it even further.
“Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me:
It is good for a man not to touch a woman.”
Now what things do you think the Corinthians
could have written to him about?
Maybe, just possibly, asking the question of “How far can I go?”
Now that’s a pretty straightforward answer! –
‘It is good for a man not to touch a woman.’

We, parents and young people,
need to set our standards high, saying,
“I’m going for God’s best.
That’s what God says; I’m going to do it!”
Not touch? Well, what does that mean?
No holding hands? No shaking hands?!
Where do we draw the line?
In fact, the issue is not so much the physical.-
If you want to be safe in the physical area,
you have to take it further to what’s in your heart.
In Proverbs, the son was told not only to keep
his body from ‘strange women’, but was told to guard his heart!
The heart is the issue! Guard your heart!
Not only are we to be physically pure,
but we need to be emotionally pure.


{{more to come next week...}}

May we spend some heartfelt time
in deep meditation and prayer,
seeking God's Truths, will, and best.